whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
