Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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