Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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