there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
