This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Shame - the story of my life.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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