Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
