i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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