Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
