if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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