I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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