Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
