Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
