That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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