I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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