I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
did you just send me my own nude
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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