Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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