STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
is wine microwaveable?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
