I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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