Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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