nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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