A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
