forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize