They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
