hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
