glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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