Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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