saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
