i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
