Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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