So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
honey bunches of taint.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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