Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
