I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
