I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
