I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
