She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
