As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
