what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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