No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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