I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize