I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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