Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
