dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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