I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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