so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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