she smelled like a LAN party
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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