the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize