Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
