can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
