Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Porn is love you can see.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Randomize
