Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
