How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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