A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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