I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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