he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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