When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
