Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
