When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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