Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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