I think I died a long time ago.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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